with your own penis?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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