I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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