You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
