think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
