im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
