so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Randomize
