I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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