I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
