This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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