Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
