just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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