Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
