Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
