Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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