I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
