Soap is not a condiment
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
