can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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