Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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