fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
