Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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