What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He kissed a someone with a penis
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
