I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
