Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
