Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
