You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
