he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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