Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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