Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Randomize
