I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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