i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
