I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize