Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm passing your future prison.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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