good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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