omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize