I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
