shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize