Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
