chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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