Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
