Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
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I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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