these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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