I look better un-naked...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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