He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
