I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
