break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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