Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
BRING THE BAGELS
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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