I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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