i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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