a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
