Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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