I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
