another moral hangover. fuck.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
