it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
