I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just found puke in my bra..
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
