Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
