Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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