They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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