I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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