I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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