I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
