I feel great
I just peed on a car
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
