woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
