No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
